unexpected pregnancy is actually so weird like you can accidentally make a person
I JUST SPAT OUT MY WATER
I’m the person who knows their Hogwarts house but not their blood type
I know mine. it’s
i’ll be like 40 w/no kids and people will say “aw i’m so sorry for you” and i’ll be like how was the fucking wiggles reunion tour asshole i went to italy last week for fun and didn’t have to hire a sitter
This is a very sad mentality. To think oneself more important than that of progeny is the sign of a failed human life.
so the wiggles concert wasn’t as good as you thought it would be huh
Dragon wedding cake
Done my wedding wrong. Obviously.
Mom you can stop stressing
Mom you can stop crying
Mom I can buy the groceries
Mom I can pay for the house
Mom I can give you whatever the fuck you need money
An accurate representation of tumblr right now
sorry friends i can’t go out this weekend because i’ll be at the gym all day
being pumped for halloween but tryin to stay professional like
"it’s just a phase"
i mean the moon has phases but it’s still literally always the moon. just because the moon’s doing something different today doesn’t mean it was lying about being the moon yesterday
well he really should have worn more protective clothing if he didn’t want that to happen
sounds to me like he was asking for it
Are we really sure he was actually shot and decapitated? Idk, sounds like something he would’ve made up. Guys make false decapitation accusations all the time, you know.
If he didn’t want to be decapitated, he shouldn’t have worn a shirt that showed off his neck
I mean, not all woman decapitate people. I’m not like that.
If it were a real decapitation, his body would’ve taken actions to prevent it.